This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.



After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:



Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.



1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.



2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.



3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.



4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'



5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.



6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.



7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.



8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'



9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.



10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti depres sants were.



11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.



12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.



13. October 18 : Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'



14. October 21 : When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'



And last, but not least .........



15. October 23 : Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!There's no toilet paper in here!'

 

HAHAHAAHAHAHH

i did 6 of those things

 

actually one time i took a box of magnum condoms and put them in a baby stroller and had the kid hold on to them while the parent looked around

 

haha wtf, you guys go too much time on your hands and go to walmart way too much. i should go try the gun one sometimes though

 

I have done that. I asked them for ski masks and antidepressants. The look on the guy's face was priceless

 

It sounds like you could of lived in that tent in sporting goods and still say the MRS. just as much as if you didnt go shopping w/ her.

 

Priceless! loved it! HA HA HA

 

that was great!

 

Man, that's nothing compared to what me and my friends used to do while working there.

 

That was freakin funny