Why I fired my secretary
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Why I fired my secretary
LAST WEEK WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND I DIDN'T FEEL VERY WELL WAKING UP THAT MORNING [/align][/align]
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I WENT DOWNSTAIRS FOR BREAKFAST HOPING MY WIFE WOULD BE PLEASANT AND SAY, [/align][/align]
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"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", AND POSSIBLY HAVE A PRESENT FOR ME. [/align][/align]
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AS IT TURNED OUT, SHE BARELY SAID GOOD MORNING, LET ALONE "HAPPY BIRTHDAY." [/align][/align]
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I THOUGHT... WELL, THAT'S MARRIAGE FOR YOU, BUT THE KIDS WILL REMEMBER. [/align][/align]
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MY KIDS CAME INTO BREAKFAST AND DIDN'T SAY A WORD. SO WHEN I LEFT FOR THE [/align][/align]
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OFFICE, I WAS FEELING PRETTY LOW AND SOMEWHAT DESPONDENT. [/align][/align]
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AS I WALKED INTO MY OFFICE, MY SECRETARY JANE SAID, "GOOD MORNING, BOSS, [/align][/align]
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" [/align][/align]
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IT FELT A LITTLE BETTER THAT AT LEAST SOMEONE HAD REMEMBERED. [/align][/align]
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I WORKED UNTIL ONE O'CLOCK AND THEN JANE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR AND SAID, "YOU [/align][/align]
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KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY OUTSIDE, AND IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY, LET'S GO [/align][/align]
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OUT TO LUNCH, JUST YOU AND ME." [/align][/align]
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I SAID, "THANKS JANE, THAT'S THE GREATEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY. LET'S GO!" [/align][/align]
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WE WENT TO LUNCH. BUT WE DIDN'T GO WHERE WE NORMALLY WOULD GO. [/align][/align]
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WE DINED INSTEAD AT A LITTLE PLACE WITH A PRIVATE TABLE. WE HAD TWO [/align][/align]
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MARTINIS EACH AND I ENJOYED THE MEAL TREMENDOUSLY ON THE WAY BACK TO THE [/align][/align]
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OFFICE, JANE SAID, "YOU KNOW, IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY... WE DON'T NEED TO [/align][/align]
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GO BACK TO THE OFFICE, DO WE?" [/align][/align]
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I RESPONDED, "I GUESS NOT. WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN MIND?" [/align][/align]
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SHE SAID, "LET'S GO TO MY APARTMENT." [/align][/align]
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AFTER ARRIVING AT HER APARTMENT JANE TURNED TO ME AND SAID, "BOSS, IF YOU [/align][/align]
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DON'T MIND, I'M GOING TO STEP INTO THE BEDROOM FOR A MOMENT. I'LL BE RIGHT [/align][/align]
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BACK." [/align][/align]
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"OK." I NERVOUSLY REPLIED. [/align][/align]
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SHE WENT INTO THE BEDROOM AND, AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES, SHE CAME OUT [/align][/align]
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CARRYING A HUGE BIRTHDAY CAKE... FOLLOWED BY MY WIFE, KIDS, AND DOZENS OF [/align][/align]
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MY FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS, ALL SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY". [/align][/align]
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AND I JUST SAT THERE... [/align][/align]
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ON THE COUCH... [/align][/align]
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NAKED[/align][/align]
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