Household tips and life's lessons
> >
> >
> > > 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
> > > Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
> > > and presto! The blockage will be almost
> > > instantly removed.
> > >
> > > 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
> > > vegetables by getting someone else to hold them
> > > while
> > > you chop away.
> > >
> > > 3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the
> > > toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink.
> > >
> > >
> > > 4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
> > > yourself
> > > and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
> > >
> > > 5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
> > > will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
> > > sleep when you hit the snooze button.
> > >
> > > 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
> > > laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
> > >
> > > 7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a
> > > hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.
> > >
> > > Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules of
> > >
> > > Life Really Are...
> > >
> > > You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
> > > doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves
> > > and
> > > shouldn't, use the duct tape.
> > >
> > > The five most essential words for a healthy, vital
> > > relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."
> > >
> > > Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
> > >
> > > Never pass up an opportunity to potty.
> > >
> > > And Finally, If You Woke up Breathing,
> > > Congratulations! You have
> > > another chance!

 

LOL Those are great!

 

HAHAAHAA......nice