ORIGINAL: lauren5757

I think that's a picture of his ex-gf making him dinner. She wasn't his ex-gf until he posted that picture of her online when she said not to.

ORIGINAL: Redgoat

he doesnt need to come on that strong.. but he needs to ask her on a date..

ORIGINAL: Heinzanova


She probably should get back to the kitchen, because females don't belong on the internet.

ORIGINAL: Redgoat

umm what would you say if we were already in the process of "Googling" her? (and no i dont mean that in a perverted way)

ORIGINAL: SilverSeven

The number one most important factor in a healthy relationship is honesty. If you can fake that you've got in made......


Ok, serious now. You're not being a good friend to her by not telling her the truth about what you want. And continuing on without telling her is no good, because you can make your feelings change. Two options.

1) Tell her and risk losing the friendship. It would be a crappy friendship anyway if you just sat there lusting after her year after year, watching men in her life go by wishing you were one of them. If she is really a good friend, and I mean really good, she wouldn't be forced away by your admission. There are different levels of friend, and this would definitely let you know which category she's in. If she's the kind who would shy away from you after finding that out rather than thying to be helpful and be there for you, then you probably won't be friends in a years time anyway.

2) If you're not going to tell her, you shouldn't be around her. If the friendship is more valuable to you, then you should take some time away from her to get over your romantic attraction to her. Once you've got that out of the way, you'll know if YOU'RE actually a good friend to her, or if you were just hanging around hoping for a chance to date her. Then, maybe you can be a real friend to her, and it will mean even more. Relationships come and go, but real friends are always there.


Quick anecdote, to help you see keeping it all bottled up inside is not the way to go..... (ok, maybe not quick)

I was 16 years old. Typical 16 year old, I stayed out late, I partied with my friends, nothing unusual, just learning to live like we all do. One day, I walked into my English class in high school. My previous class was two doors down the hall so I usually got there first. The second I walked trough the door, I laid my eyes on the most gorgeous creature I'd ever seen. Light skin, cute freckles, long curly red hair, and green eyes, light like the underside of a mint leaf. I could have sworn I heard a choir of angels somewhere that moment. She was sitting at one of the desks, putting her books into her backpack. I still remember everything about that first time I saw her. She had on a rust colored cardigan sweater over a white spaghetti strap top and oversized khaki cargos with Doc Marten's. Light green eye shadow that made her eyes standout like a lighthouse. She had one of those oversized bead chain chokers, but what I remember most for some reason was a charm bracelet with a tiny wolf pendant. I've always had a strong connection with wolves. My father's last name was Wolfe, I dreamt about being a wolf, so when I saw that, something clicked. I don't believe in love at first sight, except with her. I was hooked.

Within a few weeks, she and I had started talking, and one day, I convinced her to go to lunch with me. I'm still a bit embarrassed that I was madly in love with her, and the first thing we did together was eat at Arby's. We got to be really good friends, but she never gave me any indication that anything more was possible, so I didn't say anything. For almost two years, every minute that I wasn't out of town racing the Mustang, we were together. Best friends and such. But I always wanted more and never had the guts to say anything about it. It felt good to be around her. She made me into most of who I am today. At a time when I was listening to Misfits and Dead Kennedys all the time she made me listen to U2 and the Cure, yet because it was her, I never complained. She taught me things I'd never cared about before. But still I couldn't tell her that I loved her.

After a while, it just got to be too much. I ached for her all the time. But I knew I couldn't have her. So I left. I packed up and moved back to Brooklyn. I didn't even tell her I was going. It would have hurt too much to lie when she asked why I was going. How can you tell someone that you feel like even when you're side by side, you still feel like you're miles away. How do you tell them that you've thrown away perfectly good relationships with other girls just because they weren't her. How do you say, I love you so much that I can't stand one more day of looking at you knowing that you don't love me the same way. I never saw her or talked to her again.

It's been 8 years since I've seen her and yet I still think about her almost every day. I have a picture of her in my car that I won't go anywhere without. I still get all torn up inside every time I hear U2's "With or Without You". I remember everything about her. I remember her room, a converted basement, with dark wood paneling, her bathroom painted bright red. I remember a black wig that she used to wear. I remember the time that we stripped down to our underwear and went swimming in a lake in the middle of a park at midnight. I remember her birthday, and the first thing I got her for the first birthday that I knew her, a new charm for her bracelet, a tiny little musical note. I remember her name, Lindsay Ann Fassauer. I know with my resources, I could find her in about 10 minutes. I guess I'm still afraid, and that's why I don't do it. But now I'm not even afraid that she wouldn't love me, I know that's out of the question, but I'm afraid that she wouldn't even remember me, and that would be even worse.

ORIGINAL: SilverSeven


Yes. However....

A risk without possible reward is a mistake.