The Person Above Me
^ with only two real teeth in his head and multiple concussions, finally finished his field research on the difference between the words "ruckus" and "fracas"
Failed roughhousing but is pretty darn good at horseplay
^ still confused to this day, over the fact that condoms are for external use only
^ surfaces every 37 hrs from his Fallout 3 game time
Runs around the town with a dress Hannah Montana bought for her slumber party.
^ secretly wishes he were Tom Cruise so he can **** Katie Holmes and electrify Oprah
The highest bidder of Oprah's used and worn granny pantie that she wore to her trip to Africa.
^ was disappointed when he didn't find the rumored 60 lbs of "crack" in her panties from the previous bid
Completed his "Hasbro under pantie set" as he purchased Dr. Phil's man-thong and wears it every other Friday.
^ still secretly wishing for the great plaid corduroy pantsuit to make a comeback - still has 3 pairs with "Bay City Rollers" embroidered on them