Funny after reading alot of the bitching going on here (not debating - just bitching) it reminds me of a lesson I learned long ago.

Let me share, and I'll try to make this brief.

What I'm about to tell you is the truth. And you will react to it the same way I did when I was 18 a fresh face ****-for-brains private in the Army - it's understandable. It took like 10 years to realize it and another 10 years to fully implement it, but I'm going to share a few quick examples to illustrate and perhaps help you understand. (Some of you may already be enlightened on this.)

But here it goes...

97% of your problems will stem from you. Essentially you are the root cause - well not you exactly, but your actions are.

First example:

My entire first year in the Army I had the FTA attitude (*** The Army) big time. I was getting rode for the dumbest of bullsheet reasons. Even had my Platoon Leader write me up every day for boots not being shined, late to formation, yada, yada, yada... the f-ing ***** had it out for me, I swear!!! It actually got so bad I had the paperwork drawn up to kick me out.

Second example:

Later on, when I was in my early 20's I got my first credit card with a $2000 limit, I maxxed that out in no time (I really wanted my first computer bad). It took four years to resolve that and clean up my credit. Got calls constantly, mail almost daily about it.

Third example: (and last)

About 10 yrs ago I got a ticket for running a red light. I blew it off got a failure to appear and my license was suspended. The ticket was originally $280 - I ended up paying nearly $500 to resolve it and got my car impounded which cost me an additional $700 to get it back (ironically that's what I do now for a living... lol...).

For the first incident - That's when SFC Wolverton sat me down and told me what I just told you. If I had taken 5 mins to polish my boots, or been aware of the time better, etc... none of this crap would happen. I followed his instructions and sure enough the pressure ceased and I became a much better soldier.

On the second, if I had just not been so stupid I could have saved me alot of headache. Not to mention the frustration of cleaning up my credit!

And third. That incident caused me alot of money only because I was lazy - not to mention the embarrassment of being with a date and getting my Porsche towed away.

In all three cases - and numerous others - I had only myself to blame.

So in closing, all this crap (and there is more that I won't bother you with like relationship decisions, career choices, etc) could have been easily avoided if I had made the correct decision at the given moment and could have avoided having my problem roll ontop of me later.

Sure hindsight is 20/20, but foresight only takes a little effort to truly weight out your options and no matter how bad you don't or do want to do something - the ends results are not worth it.

I could almost bet even odds that if you looked at nearly all the huge issues in your life that they originated from actions that you took - or failed to take. Give it a try, you may be surprised - I know I sure was.

Sure, there are things that you can't avoid no one's perfect - some nitwit slamming into your car, power going out missing the game, etc... but I'd rather deal with that 3% than help substantiate that 97%.

Wouldn't you?

Just thought I share this with you so in twenty years from now (hopefully sooner, God willing) you can live a much better life.

 

Ahh perspective... having one is nice, but a few more never hurt.

 

nicely said, Pali.
However, the point i'd like to make is this. When we're young, we learn all these facts in school and our mom's and dad's tell us, "do this, don't do that". But, those are just useless facts and parents' words that go in one ear and out the other. They don't really become useful information until we actually experience them in our own lives, then it becomes "real" and concepts are understood.
iagree with everything you said andi have similar stories to tell, which is whyi can understand your points. I think we all want to blame other people for our own misfortunes, when we really have the power in our own hands. It's just a matter of if you are willing to take that power and use it in the right way.
Complaining about a situation serves no useful purpose. Of course you might be upset orsaddened by an event, and it's ok to acknowledge that feeling of frustration, but letting it grow inside you only takes up that space with negativity. If there are no logical directions you can take to solve a problem, then just let it go. Find something good in that experience; something that you learned.
I've had my share of heartbreaks by boyfriends and backstabbing by girlfriends, but I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything, because they make me who I am.

There are so many good quotes and sayings about life. They may seem silly but most are very true. I like this one:

LIVE AND LEARN!

 

^+10. I have done a LOT of stuipid s*&t in my time, and I was always looking for someone or something to blame as an excuse. Sure. I had some severe tragedy, but who hasn't? Personal victimization is futile, as is complaining. At some point in the not-too-distant past, I became a doer and not a complainer. f'chrissakes, I was living out of the back of my broken-down A2 Jetta parked on a sidestreet in a nasty part of Hollywood, dining and dashing and giving plasmato keep myself alive. I mean, I was a f**ked-up individual. I joined the Army and fixed myself... but lemme tell you, it was NOT easy.I worked my *** off to get where I am today. When I as an NCO, I tried as hard as I could toimpart some of my knowledge and life experienceinto my soliders, but I couldn't help but coming back to one basic reality inherent in all humans: if someone has a genuine want to better themselves or change, they will. If not, you are wasting your time because no amount of coercion, or brute force, for that matter,will change them. The other NCOs in my section looked down upon me because I was not the type of guy to try to fix guys who didn't want to be fixed. If I saw a genuine yearning in them to better themselves, I would do whatever I could to help them. I guess it's just my belief in the processs of natural selection.One of my lyrics states, "Is a straight line from A to B the fastest, and if it was then wouldn't it be a shame... to take the road that's easierand fastest? But in the end, there's no one else to blame."Bumps and scars make the road more memorable... and consequently, more enjoyable. Someone else's move.

 

This thread is 100% WIN.

 

honestly, you want to know the most odd thing I learned about this?

Life actually became so easy it was kinda boring. Dodging creditors, living hand to mouth, wondering who was knocking at your door is all highly stressful. When suddenly all that is gone - what do you have? A great life without the hassles - but that's rather boring... lol... I know that sounds counter to what I just preached, but it's true as well.

Now I know why most people with money go out and create havoc just because they are bored! lol

 

Good advice, Pali, but sometimes when you're young, you don't have the life experience to get that 'gut instinct' telling you which way to go. Like my 20-yr old daughter, for instance....

-- She didn't know when she financed a $3,500 vehicle for her BF after going with him for 3 weeks that he was very poor on money matters.
-- She didn't know that he was a CLASS 1 mooch, and she would end up paying for virtually EVERYTHING that involved the two of them - dates / food, etc.
-- She didn't know that he couldn't keep a job longer than 3 weeks.
-- She didn't know that her parents would only be willing to put him up in their spare room for 2 weeks, when his own family wouldn't take him in.
-- She didn't know that he would sleep outside in the vehicle, when he had no where else to go.
-- She didn't know that the $3,500 vehicle would end up being worth about $500, after he ran it into the ground (anybody want a P-O-S '85 K-5 Blazer?)
-- She didn't know about the accident he was involved in with said vehicle, which was in her name, putting her (and her family) at great financial risk (looks like it's going to be OK, though).

She KNOWS, now.

 

I feel for you, mate.

The chief excuse I hear from most - this includes my 20 yr old son - is "I didn't know that would happen - so it's not my fault!"

Yes, my son, it is. The saddest thing in life is not making mistakes - it's not learning from them and thus repeating them.

 

Well said and couldn't be more accurate

 

and then there are guys like me, who enjoy banging their head against the wall.

last 2 tickets I got I threw away when I got home. License is suspended right now. I'll see if I can get out of it for less than I was supposed pay originally. Probably wont happen, but I have to try. I'll skip out on my gas/electric from time to time to see if they'll get tired of trying to harass me and settle for less.

Pretty dumb moves, but for some reason, i choose this route over the 'straight' path anyway. Nothing gets out of hand... well.. the license issue is getting there, now I'm a month past due on my inspection as well, and running no front plate in a state requiring one.. but i digress. I have money, I have excellent credit. I'm old enough to know better (I'm 26).

Guess it's like the boredom thing you mentioned.