My AF lessons?


1) Killing yourself to spite every safety briefing is not a good idea

2) 'I'm drunk and so is everyone else here' is a valid reason for missing the all-call

3) Referring to Staff Sargeants as 'sweetie' is usually good for a laugh but only when a Tech told you to do it.

4) Making a scale map of the Korean DMZ on your office floor in masking tape is a good way to pass time and learn some valuable geography info.

5) Answering your door in the nude may be temporarily amusing, until the First Sergeant shows up to inspect your room.

5) If you want a good time in the desert on a Saturday night, arrange a 3 way deathmatch between the EOD Camel Spider, the Security Forces scorpion, and the Maintenance mutant Rat.

6) Leaving your Pocket ***** out to dry while you are at work may be efficient, but not necessarily on the day your female flight chief conducts room inspections.

7) Stealing fire extinguishers and hiding them in the Marine detach is good for laughs, until they come to get you back.

8) House plants make great roommates.

9) Shoelaces are not appropriate for female service dress shoes.

10) The best way to get out of getting caught smoking in a non smoking area is to NOT hide in the most obvious closet in the area, and then attempt to Jedi Mind Trick the person into beleiving 'This is not the Airman you are looking for'.

 

There are to many Life's Lessons after being in the military. This thread provis it. The most important that is missing from this I would like to add is " It is okay to question the wife about your kids if you have been out to see for more then 10 months." ooh rhaa!

 

haha very nice, learnin lifes lessons as we blaze this herbal essence.

 

The biggest lesson I have learned in the Military..

Its easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission

 

What I learned in the Army:

**** roles downhill

If it makes sense your not doing it right.

Half the time you won't know why the hell your doing something, just shut up and do it.

2nd Lt are pretty much useless.

The higher in rank you go the dumber you get.

Deployed female soldiers are huge *****. Thank God.

Female Officers like to fvck too, go for it.

Don't **** off the MPs

Roaming camel are not target practice lol

Don't stare at your hot female Commander she'll have your a$$

If its free its for me, as long Uncle Sam is footing the bill.

That "steak" in the chow hall is actually camel. mmmm

 

I wish it was camel. Ours is recycled chicken and rice.

 

I have it on good word from a couple of Marines that shooting them only pisses them off. You have to blow them up to properly dispose of em [8D]

 

Hahaha. Funny ****!

 

what kind of BOV should I get?

 

My *lessons learned*

- Unless you have the right kind of spoilers attached, wipers *float* above 125mph, which is why I switched to Rain-X more than 15 years ago.
- *rowing* down teh gears DEFINITLY helps you keep from rear-ending the dumb-assed American who just pulled out from behind teh truck s/he's been following for teh last 5 miles.
- Given enough need, and force, you can even row your way down into 1st gear (someone's kid jumped out from between two parked cars[:@])
- I'll take All-Season tires and RWD over summer tires and AWD ANYDAY!!!
- Over-driving your headlights is NOT a myth.
- It doesn't take much to get a car airborne, or endo, or BOTH!
- Accidents at 150mph+ don't so much leave a "scene" as they do a "debris field."
- ********* aren't limited to *your* nationality. They come in ALL flavors.
- LeapFrogging through morning traffic on your way to PT formation is MUCH MORE FUN if someone from your company and/or platoon and/or squad is playing, too!!!
- When you buy new tires buy all four AT THE SAME TIME!!!
- Alfa Romeo's are HOT Q-ships!!! ESPECIALLY the sedans.
- My Alfetta Quadrifoglio cud EAT 3-ers at whim.
- Good tires can mean the difference between a close call and an insurance claim.
- opening up teh back of your sunroof at 150mph makes your ears pop.
- Ditto for sudden stops from that speed with your sunroof open
- There's two schools of thought for arguing with a woman.
- Neither one works!
- Sangria is one HELLUVA good idea.
- So is Gluh Wein.
- Both are best when homemade
- Head from an ugly chic feels just as good as head from pretty one, but, getting it from a pretty one is a bigger ego boost.

And finally
- The older I get, the better I was...