What if you explained to her, that she should put the baby up for open adoption for her mother to adopt and be the sole guardian of.. She can still raise her, but her mother will be the one is legally responsible for her, and that will get you out of having to pay child support or anything like that.. or you could fight for full custody.. I highly recommend doing that.. its a long battle, but its one that you can fight. Just proove to the courts that she is unstable and not able to care for a child.. shouldnt be to hard from the way she sounds in your posts

 

Okay maybe the baby is not a boy, but I have a 50/50 chance right?
She can't pick who gets to raise a child that belongs to both of you. There are a lot of laws out there to protect fathers rights because they are overlooked a lot during custody battles and situations just like this. That is not the hardest part of this.
For sake of argument lets say the baby is yours and you still decide that you do not want anything to do with the baby. In order for you to pay support she has to share custody of a child with someone that does not want anything to do with him. If she is a real woman, a real mother, she isn't going to fight you for support and she would want her boyfriend/husband to take the baby as his own. That is what my dad did.

 

Sorry to hear about this Brian... definately a situation that you are right to put this much thought into. This has already been said... abacab I think... but really put some thought into this. I am not against abortion, I think there is a time and a place for it... but honestly, the decision you make now could be one that you find defines who you are... not to other people, but to yourself. I know you feel like you were trapped, or tricked... or something like that... and I'll explain my stance on men's rights in a bit... but really, you have to think about what WILL happen... no court case started yesterday is going to give you the rights that you wish you had... so this baby will be born, if she wants it to be. The suggestion of allowing the girls mother to adopt the child was a good one... if she wants the child, and truly wants you out of its life... then she should not have a problem with releiving you of the legal and financial obligations that you currently have. This brings me to my take on mens rights in this situation...
What bothers me here, is that she made just as big a mistake as you did, by having unprotected sex... it takes two to do it! The woman's rights are definately far greater than the mans... in that if she wants to abort the child, she can -- regardless of the fathers wishes... if she wants to give up the child to the father (a father who wants it) she can... and lastly, if she wants to keep her cute little baby, she can... and she knows she can get the financial support that she needs. A man wants to abort the child against the womans wishes -- not happening. It sort of sucks in that it is a mistake that you both made... and yet only one of you has the power to make any decisions about a possible solution. If she wanted out of the financial obligation (abortion) then she could do it... no problem -- even if you wanted the child... but yeah... I think it is a very terrible situation, and I fear for the child's life -- whether or not you are in it. The most important thing to remember is that this child is innocent... it had nothing to do with this "mess" so any resentment that you have towards it... needs to be let go of immediately. The fact that you haven't spoken with your father in 5 years, should give you some insight as to what a life like that can be like... I would just think about how you want to define your life right now. You have the opportunity to do something that most people would not want to do... because you cared enough to recognize that this child is an innocent. In time, you will be free of the financial and legal burdens... but by that time, I am sure you will be in a position where you can look back to this current time in your life... look at your child... and realize that you were a 22 year old man with more integrity than the norm. You could always feel good about that. You only have one life... I am an advocate of trying to do as much good with it, as possible. I really hope you're okay, when the dust settles... you seem like a strong person, emotionally... you do seem afraid, and I can already see the resentment... but nobody here should hold that against you. These are natural human responses. Keep us posted, we're here for you brother.

 

Im sry brian, but in this situation, u need to step up to the plate and be responsible. Its her choice to have the baby, and i think she did teh right thing. Abortion is a good thing IMO, but there is a time for it. If ur a teenager and still in school tahts one thing. She may want to think about having the baby and giving it up for adoption, just of married couples would love to have a baby. But if she wants to keep it its her right. I dont really knwo the legal stand point but im sry to say i think u will be paying some child support. Plz dont take this out on teh kid. U never know, maybe the bf will step up and want to fatehr the child like his own and they wont need ur money. Its a bad situation, and there were options that u should have taken. I mean come on, u had a chance to use a condom, she could have taken birth control, teh morning after pill and im sure there are others.

Remember a bad choice CAN ruin ur life, just ask all those ppl in jail.

 

AHA! I TOTALLY saw this court case and was gonna give you a call. but... i forgot.

 

alright... I just had a quick read of some of the comments in here... and I just have a couple things

1) it's really easy to just walk into the situation and start pointing fingers. I'll verify that from day one... one party was pushing abortion, while the other was pushing back. In this situation, the woman has WAY too much power.

2) You also have to consider that not everyone shares your religious standpoint.

Seeing as this can get really really heated.... that is all.

 

religion should have no place in this

 

Yeah this is true... I am not a person from a religious background... I do respect religious standpoints sometimes, and I can appreciate religion for many reasons... but yeah, preaching isn't going to help anything right now.

 

man the whole situation your in sux, wish there was a good way to fix everything but sadly there really isnt.... if shes set on havin the kid that pretty much that, and even if your 100% sure its your man have a blood test dont chance it, we dont wana see you on jerry springer in a year and a half when **** hits the fan.... Good luck with all this

 

once again, thank you to everyone for your words of advise..i'll keep you guys posted on the situation as it unfolds..