i can honestly say that i would rather cut out and let her handle this mess on her own. i'm a 22 year old man. i have school to finish, along with several other plans that won't happen if i decide to raise a child. i'm not financially or emotionally ready to raise a child, i'm practically still a child myself.

 

There was a report last night on NPR about that case you mentioned. Interesting, basically saying that the man's equal protection under the law is violated because it becomes the women's choice on what to do, and the man, ultimately has no say or choice. I think they said that there have been a couple of cases along this line of reasoning. BUt that is such a major change in how we think about things, that I don't think there will be any significant change in the short term if ever. So from a legal aspect, I don't think you are going to have too much help.


As to your immediate situation. I would agree with beefski and pturbo, that you should get confirmation that you are the father. Pretty simple test to determine that. Does she really want a child with you, or is she religiously or politically opposed to abortion? If she is completely opposed to abortion would she consider adoption? I have friends that just adopted a baby from a young couple that just were not ready to have a child...my friends are so happy. You could go to court, but again, I think that is going to be a very long drawn out process, with out too much hope of success. I agree that there should be someway that both the man and women have a say in the decision, but the simple fact that the women is the one that is pregnant, and to have someone or a court force her to have a child or not have a child...just is not going to happen. The only say you are going to have in this is by talking it out with her.

If it comes down to her not willing to take any other alternatives, then the course is set. Be the best father you can,....what may seem like something that is ruining your life, it may turn out to be one of the best things that ever happened to you...

 

1. you probably should have thought about that before you had unprotected sex. You're the one that's saying that she has too much power in this situation and yet at the same time you're saying you'll let her handle this mess on her own. If you're gonna bail then why should you have any say at all in what she does.

2. Have you talked to her about adoption, just cuz she's having the baby doesn't mean that you necessarily have to raise it. It might be better for you two and the baby if it is raised by people who are willing and able to raise a child. Do her/your parents know yet?

Edit: Before you start thinking I'm like a religious fanatic because I'm pro-life and my user name is TheHolyGhost, I am pro-life but I haven't been to Church in like 5 years and I'm hardly religious at all. The user name is running joke with two of my friends because we call ourselves the trinity, so if anything we're heretics.

 

i TRULY mean no disrespect whatsoever here guys, but....

i'm not a religious man. i'm a militant agnostic and i think religion is a horrible, horrible thing...i would like to hear all criticism everyone has to offer but if it's just 'i'm pro-life' or 'abortion is wrong', etc..i really don't want to hear any more of that.

 

Like I said, I'm not religious, but I do believe that our society has a serious problem with accountability and every time people do something stupid they sue someone or pay someone and get off. I understand that you have other plans but you also had unprotected sex and you knew the risks. I still think adoption is a good option, because like abacab said, legally you aren't going to get much help here, so you should probably look for alternatives to getting her to have an abortion.

 

BECAUSE EVEN IF I BAIL I'M GOING TO BE GIVING HER AT LEAST HALF MY MONEY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

she won't consider abortion....here's her situation:

1. she's not religious, at all.
2. she's not morally opposed to abortion, she's considered it at least once in this situation.
3. the reason i know she won't have an abortion is because she's deadset on having a baby. i've learned that she has two younger sisters (twins) that both have kids of their own. she wants a baby, and she doesn't care how she gets it. that's the bottom line. she hasn't considered my situation once, all she cares about is having a cute baby to show off to her friends. this is probably the most frustrating part of this whole thing.

 

paternity test.

I know of atleast 3 guys off the top of my head that were told It's yours, started raising it. and when they seperated were given a court ordered paternity test.. gues what it was not theirs.

Paternity test.

if it's yours. tough ****, grow up be a man and love your child.

 

18 years, 18 years, and on his 18th birthday found out it wusn't HIS...

Tune into Maury when he has some skank on there tryN for teh umteenth time to find her baby daddy...

I don't think it's unreasonable, in this day and age, to request a blood-test (DNA would be more certain, unless you have brothers she may have whored around with, but more exoensive). Once you're SURE it's yours (if it is, that is), then MAN-UP! Try to be more than just a "support"-check to your youngun, too. Right now your just potentially a sperm-donor. Being a Father takes involvement. Being a "Daddy" takes COMMITTMENT!!!

 

So obviously her parents aren't an issue. But that does change the situation, if she is that desperate for a kid then maybe there is a possibility that you're not the father? You said she doesn't want you to be the father, so maybe she's just saying you are because she won't feel bad taking you to the cleaners after she has it? There definitely needs to be a paternity test.

 

Sorry, man.

I don't think you'll have too much luck with the new men's rights thing. Although I agree with it, I would be shocked if the conservative court does.

Also, Kilobyte, why are you such a vindictive *******? Nothing you've contributed to this forum has been positive. From bitching about teenagers with rich parents to calling people "dumbass" through the mask of the Internet, all you've been is a drain on this forum.

Respond by PM if you must; I don't wanna **** up Bentframe's thread any worse.