How to keep a healthy level of insanity
#1
12-04-2006 | 05:57 PM
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1st Gear
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 439
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How to keep a healthy level of insanity
1. Point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In”.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors”.
7. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”
8. Don’t use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”.
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I won!”
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
19. Tell you children over dinner, “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In”.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors”.
7. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”
8. Don’t use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”.
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I won!”
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
19. Tell you children over dinner, “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
#5
12-04-2006 | 06:17 PM
5th Gear
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 9,133
From: New Orleans, La
RE: How to keep a healthy level of insanity
lol yea thats a good one but the problem is they would probably tell you and help you get them while still holding the gun
ORIGINAL: new2me
20. When looking down the barrel of a shotgun at Walmart ask where the anti-depresion meds are at.
20. When looking down the barrel of a shotgun at Walmart ask where the anti-depresion meds are at.
#7
12-04-2006 | 06:26 PM
Senior Administrator
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13,574
From: Lotsa places, currently Metro D.C., USA
RE: How to keep a healthy level of insanity
THAT one cud get you SHOT by a nervous Air Marshal... So, ONLY pull this stunt on short hop twins, and NEVER on a non-stop international flight...
#9
12-04-2006 | 06:38 PM
4th Gear
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,396
From:
RE: How to keep a healthy level of insanity
haha your probably right
ORIGINAL: BadLuckAudi
lol yea thats a good one but the problem is they would probably tell you and help you get them while still holding the gun
lol yea thats a good one but the problem is they would probably tell you and help you get them while still holding the gun
ORIGINAL: new2me
20. When looking down the barrel of a shotgun at Walmart ask where the anti-depresion meds are at.
20. When looking down the barrel of a shotgun at Walmart ask where the anti-depresion meds are at.
#10
01-15-2022 | 04:24 AM
Banned
Joined: May 2021
Posts: 93
Mental health problems have become so common that they are intimidating. I think this is due to the modern rhythm of life, when we don't even have time to properly rest and relax. CBN Oil is a good mental health supplement. Plus, it is a natural and safe food supplement that won't harm your health.
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