http://members.tripod.com/~rowdygrl/walker.rm

 

what is this forums new fascination of Chuck Norris

 

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

 

ahh good times... good times..

 

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.


If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down.


According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.


Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.


Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.



I don't like Chuck Norris. I think I could take him.

 

>>/When Chuck Norris ; has sex with a
> >>man, it is not because
>he is gay, but because he has run out of
> >>women.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets
> >>the information he wants.
> >>
> >>
> >>If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two
> >>seconds till."
> >>After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in
> >>the face.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the
> >>pleasure.
> >>
> >>
> >>Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related
> >>deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
> >>
> >>
> >>There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck
> >>Norris.
> >>
> >>
> >>There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is
>only another
> >>fist.
> >>
> >>
> >>It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a
> >>pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure
> >>more pirates to him.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high
> >>school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the
> >>referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child.
> >>Chuck roundhouse kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and
> >>then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.
> >>
> >>
> >>When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck
> >>said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He
> >>came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it
>whole, and
> >>when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and
> >>came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done
> >>it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never
> >>question Chuck Norris."
> >>
> >>
> >>Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is
> >>actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in
> >>the face that day.
> >>
> >>
> >>If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn,
> >>sir."
> >>That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the
> >>entire state down.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that
>his foot
> >>broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia
> >>Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.
> >>
> >>
> >>Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
> >>decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly
> >>thereafter he grew a beard.
> >>
> >>
> >>When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
> >>cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He
> >>also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and
> >>buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the
>
> >>JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with
> >>his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer
> >>amazement.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks
> >>and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the
> >>transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the
> >>face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony,
> >>couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They
> >>now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
> >>
> >>
> >>A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck
> >>Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris recently had the idea to
>sell his urine as a canned
> >>beverage.
> >>We know this beverage as Red Bull.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
> >>saying "booya".
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by
> >>yelling, "Bang!"
> >>
> >>
> >>The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
> >>
> >>
> >>After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb
> >>on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
> >>His reasoning? It was more "humane".
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he
> >>roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he
>farts.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
> >>trademarked names for his left and right legs.
> >>
> >>
> >>If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
> >>Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
> >>
> >>
> >>One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that
> >>Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact
> >>tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take
> >>yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I
> >>already lost my virginity." then you are dead wrong.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris uses a live rattle snake for a
>condom.
> >>
> >>
> >>Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die
> >>before they attack.
> >>
> >>
> >>Once Chuck Norris was knighted by the queen of England. When the
> >>queen was performing the ceremony, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked
> >>her in the face and stole her tiara. He now wears it when he plays
> >>polo with Prince Charles every Thursday as a reminder.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck
> >>could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW
> >>DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her
> >>throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he
> >>bellowed, "Don't f--k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later
> >>he realized
>the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that
> >>anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
> >>
> >>
> >>Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but
> >>was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a
> >>roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied,
> >>"That's no glitch."
> >>

 

I fvcking hate you guys. Chuck Norris is a punk bitch. What are you gonna do about it, bitchy bitch? Bruce Lee could kick your *** in without using any appendages. Roundhouse kick that.

I am ******* with Chuck.

 

umm Chuck wants to know how you like your eggs.. ohh yeah i went there


LMFAO