I agree times are changing. but I don't think it's that kids are so much worse than they were before. I think people have always said these things about kids. I think it's just as we grow older our perspective on life changes as does our outlook on things.

Mike

 

There's a guy named Dr. Sears who pushes a parenting style along the lines of, "Spoil your child, and they'll love you. Then, of course, they'll obey because they love you." He's actually quite popular, and he's an idiot. This produces entitled little sh*ts that have no respect for any one or anything because everything has been given to them and their parents shield them from the consequences of their actions.

When I was a kid, if I did something stupid, I was punished by my parents, and I took whatever consequences I already had coming my way as a result of whatever I did. For example, when I got my first speeding ticket, my folks took my keys for a while, and I had to pay my fine and go to stupid defensive driving class.

Your average parent lately, given the same circumstances, would pay the fine for the kid and tell them not to do it again. These kids have never had to be responsible for their actions, and what you saw in the drive through was the result.

 

No one's perspective has changed. Discipline, in all forms, is becoming child abuse. There's actually an organization contending that "time-out" constitutes child abuse.

 

I remember having to go pick out sticks that my dad would whip across my *** when I did something bad. I learned my lesson.

 

I see so you act and think the exact same now as you did when you were 16? Interesting. I know I've grown and learned from life. I think in a vastly different way than I did when I was 16.

Mike

 

Of course I don't think like a child any more. If anything, that has made the problem with current parenting theories more visible. When I was a kid, I wish I had parents that would let me do or get away with anything, like some of the other kids I grew up with. I thought my parents were too strict. Now that I've matured a bit, I see why that didn't work. Hell, a few of those kids wound up in jail. I have a better understanding of how parenting affects the children; I'm not some cantankerous old man sitting on a porch pissing and moaning about "whippersnappers". Not yet, anyway.

 

Rob, you're right on target man, I agree 100% By the way, I'm 19

 

When i was young i did something wrong i got my a$$ beat yeah it hurt but guess what didnt do that again. Now kids get time out??? HA i would have loved that btw i am only 22. This is y i dont want kids cause todays laws would get my a$$ in jail. But kids today not only get off easy they are stupid. I have an older GF shes 36 and her 14 year old son in 9th grade left his bike out in the front yard so guess what it gets stolen and she didnt say anything to him that he should not have left it there well i sure did the next week when he made the comment "what am i supose to do ride the bike i dont have" i said well if u would have put it away u would still have it.

If i would have gotten my bike stolen it would have been my fault and i would have gotten in trouble for it.

Todays kids are worthless little $%#^s

 

I think its a pretty complicated subject. Every child is psychologically different and will respond differently. As a kid yeah i got the occasional spanking, but my parents were by no means strict, but i wasn't spoiled either. They believed that it was their job to instill good values in me, and you can only parent so much. Since highschool (lisence was a real turning point) i have pretty much had complete freedom. At some point you have to let your kids learn on their own to make their own mistakes, and that dosnt have to be when their 19 years old. Not that big **** ups dont warrant punishment. I think that over parenting is just as bad as under parenting.

Never been grounded, never had anything taken from me. But i have had some serious conversations and been kicked out of my house.

But iv also never gotten suspended, never been arrested, i contribute to our household, i work hard at school and on the farm.

 

I agree, it is a bit of a complicated situation. But when I see something like what the OP described, I'm very confident in saying that they ended up that way because they've never had to experience any real consequence for their actions. When I was in high school, I understood that flipping off random folks is a great way to start random fights. And that was always more trouble than it was worth. I'm willing to bet that if the OP had punched that kid in the mouth, his parents would have pressed charges or filed a civil suit. If I flipped some random person the bird, and they punched me, my folks would have explained to me that that's what happens when you act like a jackass. If the cops were involved they wouldn't have defended my actions.

That's what is wrong with parents these days. Even well into high school years, kids aren't expected to know how their actions effect themselves and others around them because they've never had to learn. Mommy and daddy were always there to bail them out and shelter them when they did something stupid.

At some point you have to let your kids learn on their own to make their own mistakes, and that dosnt have to be when their 19 years old.
I agree. The more important part is to let them make mistakes and then experience what happens when you make a mistake. Let them learn that actions have consequences, and bad ones suck. The sooner they begin to learn that, the better off they'll be.