FICTOIDS (made-up FACTS)
#42
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Olive oil is the best lubricant for **** sex - it's the origin of the phase, "Getting your salad tossed."
Skating backwards on ice is the leading cause ofbreast enhancementin young women.
If you breathe more than 30 times a minute the increased oxygen over excites the optic nerves and cancels out the ability to distinguish the color blue.
Women with breast size of D or larger cause 73.8% more accidents than smaller breasted women - but they survive headon collisions 96.2% of the time.
Men who carry briefcases in the right hand suffer erectile dysfunction before the age 40. There have to be any noticable side effects from carrying left handed.
The accoustics in the average shower stall causes those that sing the shower to agitate the inner ear shutting it down thus giving people the misconception they can carry a tune.
Skating backwards on ice is the leading cause ofbreast enhancementin young women.
If you breathe more than 30 times a minute the increased oxygen over excites the optic nerves and cancels out the ability to distinguish the color blue.
Women with breast size of D or larger cause 73.8% more accidents than smaller breasted women - but they survive headon collisions 96.2% of the time.
Men who carry briefcases in the right hand suffer erectile dysfunction before the age 40. There have to be any noticable side effects from carrying left handed.
The accoustics in the average shower stall causes those that sing the shower to agitate the inner ear shutting it down thus giving people the misconception they can carry a tune.
#44
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Up until the year 1532 there was a 13th month called Deathtober. Pope Lucius IV decided it was too ominous, cancelled it out and made Friday the 13th the official bad luck day. Thinking two or three times a year was better than a whole month.
#45
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In the year 1666, Lucius V led a successful revolution to overthrow the power of Pope Alexander VII. The new Pope Lucius V immediately reinstated Deathtober as the 13th month in the Gregorian Calendar. Needless to say, Pope Lucius V's power lasted only 13 days & 13 hours, before Alexander VII was restored to power.
#46
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Deathtober was later shortened and renamed Rocktober in conjunction with Audi's release of the Quattro drive system and there was much drifting, left-foot-braking, and rocking out. In response, the Peoples Republic of California banned the use of all-wheel-drive because of the increased local air pollution of a four-wheel burnout vs. a two wheel one. The ensuing riots lead directly to the development of the Chevy Aveo and roll-on deoderant.
#50
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If you vigorously rub two gerbils together the resulting static electricity will actually cause them to violently repel each other up to 20 feet apart because of the resulting polarity magnification. It's fun. You should try it!
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