"I came to do 2 things; drink beer and kick some ***......looks like we're almost outta beer." - greaser guy at the beer bust in Dazed and Confuzed.

 

Top Gun:
Goose: Slider you're such a di@k head
Slider: how many butts did you kiss to get in here?
Goose: well the list is long, but distinguished
Slider: yea well so is my johnson

My Cousing Vinny:
Vinny: well these two utes here
Judge: utes?
Vinny: yea these couple of utes
Judge: I dont follow
Vinny: oh I am sorry, Youths

National Security:
(martin lawerence hand in car)
Cop: do ya need some help?
Martin: are you asking me if i need some help, or if i am stealing this car?
Cop: ok are you stealing this car?
Martin: does it look like i am stealing this damn car?
Cop: sorta
Martin: why cause im black? white man has his hand in the car you give him a good sameritan award, figuring he just turnin off peoples lights
http://youtube.com/watch?v=CucTvHiymBE
Happy Gilmore:
"The price is wrong, bitch"

ok thats enough for now

 

http://youtube.com/watch?v=KADMMlvBlEw
Thats mr. pecker head to you.....

 

Dumb and Dumber
Harry: Check out the funbags on that hosehound.
Lloyd: I'd like to eat her liver with some fava beans and a bottle of Chianti.

Harry: I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this.
Lloyd: I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of s***, man.

Harry: I can't believe we drove around all day, and there's not a single job in this town. There is nothing, nada, zip!
Lloyd: Yeah! Unless you wanna work forty hours a week.

Lloyd: That's a lovely accent you have. New Jersey?
Mary: Austria.
Lloyd: Austria! Well, then. G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!

LloydWhat are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, that's pretty difficult to say.
Lloyd: Hit me with it! I've come a long way to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause[/i]]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance.

 

oh man dumb and dumber, too easy, every line out of there is classic

Caddyshack:
"this is my neice lacy underall"
"so i got that going for me"
"hey that kangaroo stole my ball!"
"Four!" (ball hits guy in nuts) "Oh i should have yelled two"
"hey whitey wheres your hat?"
"hey **** whats with the pictures this is a parking lot"
"woah this is the worst looking hat I ever saw, i bet if you buy this hat you get a bowl of soup with it, oh but it looks good on you though"

 

Caddyshack is awesome!
"Yeah, that's what I figured. Hey, Moose! Rocco! Help the judge find his checkbook!"
"B-B-B-BUY Bushwoods???"
"I have a pool, and a pond. The pond would be good for you."
"I was boooooorn to love you, I was booooorn to lick your face, I was boooorn to love you, but you were born to love me first."

 

From a great movie:
Telly: " Virgins, I love'em, No skank , No Loose as a goose *****, Just pure Heaven!!!"

 

TYLER-
The spork. I get it. You're very clever.

JACK-
Thank you.

TYLER-
How's that working out for you?

JACK-
What?

TYLER-
Being clever.

JACK-
Well, uh... great.

TYLER-
Keep it up, then. Keep it right up.

Tyler stands, looks towards the aisle.

TYLER-
... As I squeeze past, do I give you the *** or the crotch?

Tyler moves to the aisle, his *** toward jack, walks away...

TYLER-
We are defined by the choices we make.



Another good one from Fight Club..

Nine time out of ten, it's an electric razor. But, every once in a while ...
(whispers)...it's a *****. It's airline policy not to imply ownership in the event
of a *****. We use the indefinite aricle: "A *****." Never "Your *****."

 

MenIn black
Agent J:(Will Smith) " Now that's the worst costume I've ever seen, that dude's definitely an alien."
Frank:(the dog)" Hey, If you don't like it you can kiss my fury little butt"

 

A classic from Samuel L. Jackson!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnCtyh5_Hw0