eFIGHTS!!! (bring 'em HERE!)
#32
10-18-2007, 04:02 PM
RE: eFIGHTS!!! (bring 'em HERE!)
yeah I know it's about everything, you gonna be at the game? Student tickets baby! Post game I'll show you an S Line Car, maybe even show you newbies know their S*** and can drive it. I'm pretty sure anybody's car on this forum would stick out from the110 thous other peoples cars thereyeah
#33
10-18-2007, 04:06 PM
RE: eFIGHTS!!! (bring 'em HERE!)
Persons may not be drunk on trains.
It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.
Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife.
No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.
The last Sunday in June of every year was named �log cabin day�.
Cars may not be sold on Sunday.
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
There is a 3 cent bounty for each starling and 10 cent bounty for each crow killed in any village, township, or city in the state.
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
You may not swear in front of women and children.
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.
Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife.
No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.
The last Sunday in June of every year was named �log cabin day�.
Cars may not be sold on Sunday.
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
There is a 3 cent bounty for each starling and 10 cent bounty for each crow killed in any village, township, or city in the state.
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
You may not swear in front of women and children.
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
#34
10-18-2007, 04:09 PM
RE: eFIGHTS!!! (bring 'em HERE!)
More interesting Michigan laws
City Laws in Michigan
Clawson
There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
Detroit
Putt-putt golf courses must close by 1:00 AM.
Security guards at Joe Louis Arena will confiscate any item they feel might be thrown onto the ice.
Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose.
Grand Haven
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
City Laws in Michigan
Clawson
There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
Detroit
Putt-putt golf courses must close by 1:00 AM.
Security guards at Joe Louis Arena will confiscate any item they feel might be thrown onto the ice.
Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose.
Grand Haven
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
#35
10-18-2007, 04:18 PM
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Lotsa places, currently Metro D.C., USA
Posts: 13,574
RE: eFIGHTS!!! (bring 'em HERE!)
ORIGINAL: CAB509
well-thought out rebuttels, by Jazz, in BLUE
Persons may not be drunk on trains.
(I guess you Ohio peeps LIKE dealing with public drunkeness)
It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.
(apparently you ALSO like being CRUEL to animals)
Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife.
(and screw around on your spouses, a lot)
No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.
(I can say from experience that it is IMPOSSIBLE to corrupt girls from Ohio. BE corrupted BY them, yes, corrupt someone ALREADY corrupt, no)
The last Sunday in June of every year was named �log cabin day�.
(Log-Cabin HATER!!!)
Cars may not be sold on Sunday.
(We Michiganders don't like organized CRIME on Sundays)
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
(I fail to see the problem, here...)
There is a 3 cent bounty for each starling and 10 cent bounty for each crow killed in any village, township, or city in the state.
(The bounty of Ohio-State fans is $10.00
)
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
(again, where is teh problem?)
You may not swear in front of women and children.
(another GOOD idea, brough to you by teh Michigan state legislature)
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
(don't make me make my Son SHOOT you!!!)
well-thought out rebuttels, by Jazz, in BLUE
Persons may not be drunk on trains.
(I guess you Ohio peeps LIKE dealing with public drunkeness)
It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.
(apparently you ALSO like being CRUEL to animals)
Adultery is illegal, but can only be punished upon a complaint by the affected husband or wife.
(and screw around on your spouses, a lot)
No man may seduce and corrupt an unmarried girl, or else he risks five years in prison.
(I can say from experience that it is IMPOSSIBLE to corrupt girls from Ohio. BE corrupted BY them, yes, corrupt someone ALREADY corrupt, no)
The last Sunday in June of every year was named �log cabin day�.
(Log-Cabin HATER!!!)
Cars may not be sold on Sunday.
(We Michiganders don't like organized CRIME on Sundays)
A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
(I fail to see the problem, here...)
There is a 3 cent bounty for each starling and 10 cent bounty for each crow killed in any village, township, or city in the state.
(The bounty of Ohio-State fans is $10.00
)It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
(again, where is teh problem?)
You may not swear in front of women and children.
(another GOOD idea, brough to you by teh Michigan state legislature)
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.
(don't make me make my Son SHOOT you!!!)
#36
10-18-2007, 04:25 PM
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Lotsa places, currently Metro D.C., USA
Posts: 13,574
RE: eFIGHTS!!! (bring 'em HERE!)
ORIGINAL: CAB509
More interesting Michigan laws
City Laws in Michigan
Clawson
There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
(You're thinking about moving to Clawson, now, aren't you?!?!?)
Detroit
Putt-putt golf courses must close by 1:00 AM.
(you have NO idea how menacing deliquent putt-putt golfers can be, I see)
Security guards at Joe Louis Arena will confiscate any item they feel might be thrown onto the ice.
(Ever BEEN to a hockey game in JLA? drunk Poles can get REAL inventive when they wanna)
Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
(next time you find a couple goin at *IT* in a car parked in your front yard you WILL understand. until then, STFU!!![8D])
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
(OK, even *I* think this is retarded.)
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
(I thkn we hadda female governer when this law went into effect. Not sure, but it seems reasonable to assume)
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose.
(ho wELSE you s'possed ta catch 'em?)
Grand Haven
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
(this law was enacted after bands of roving, hoop-skirt-wearing drug-dealers began abandoning their attire when being pursued by police. tripping the police and causing a mess that no one wanted to clean up)
More interesting Michigan laws
City Laws in Michigan
Clawson
There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
(You're thinking about moving to Clawson, now, aren't you?!?!?)
Detroit
Putt-putt golf courses must close by 1:00 AM.
(you have NO idea how menacing deliquent putt-putt golfers can be, I see)
Security guards at Joe Louis Arena will confiscate any item they feel might be thrown onto the ice.
(Ever BEEN to a hockey game in JLA? drunk Poles can get REAL inventive when they wanna)
Couples are banned from making love in an automobile unless the act takes place while the vehicle is parked on the couple's own property.
(next time you find a couple goin at *IT* in a car parked in your front yard you WILL understand. until then, STFU!!![8D])
Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
(OK, even *I* think this is retarded.)
It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
(I thkn we hadda female governer when this law went into effect. Not sure, but it seems reasonable to assume)
It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose.
(ho wELSE you s'possed ta catch 'em?)
Grand Haven
No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.
(this law was enacted after bands of roving, hoop-skirt-wearing drug-dealers began abandoning their attire when being pursued by police. tripping the police and causing a mess that no one wanted to clean up)
#37
10-18-2007, 04:59 PM
RE: eFIGHTS!!! (bring 'em HERE!)
ORIGINAL: AWDaholic
My responses of course will be in scarlet
Sorry, I got stuck in a meeting...
I think we'll do JUST fine against any place that has laws like THESE:
Dumb Ohio Laws[*]In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00. (fortunately, I have developed a device that launches horseshoes more than a mile, at orator's stands)
oraters are very serious people and proper respect must be paid to them while the declare whatever might need declaring[*]Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public. (this is just RETARDED)
have you ever seen women in shinny shoes (they can usually kick your *** and are in the armed forces
[*]It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. (onna counta ALL the whales in Ohio are actually housewives)
But every other day of the week people form michigan can come down and fish all they want[*]It is illegal to get a fish drunk. (ESPECIALLY if it's a WHALE {whales AREN'T fish, BTW})
you wouldn't want the fish blowing chunks all over it's tank, then it might drown in its own vomit[*]The Ohio driver's education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car. (violators are required to STAY in Ohio for another year)
so they notice me going by at 500000MPH[*]Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited. (violatore will be SHOT, at 10-paces)
We are a civilized state and have evolved from duels[*]Breast feeding is not allowed in public. (which is why I only feed breasts in private, when in OH)
Do you want to see some moms Tatas going to work when watching the Bucks beat the Wolverines?[*]It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house. (this protects Buckeyes from all those wild & crazy Mormons)
You got me on this one, I think all Sororaties just became illegal in OH[*]It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance. (fortunately, in Ohio, NOTHING qualifies as being of "great" importance)
It's saying you need to protect your whip[*]Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes. (unless said tiger has already eaten them, I guess)
So they can get the tiger hunter on the A$$[*]No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July. (THIS is actually helpful to know. HEY EVERYBODY, DRINK-FEST @ CAB509's EVERY SUNDAY!!!)
You learn some new amazing laws everyday, HEY EVERYONE, PARTY IN OH ON THE 4TH OF JULY
Bay Village [*]It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road.
they might get hit by a tractor
Bexley [*]Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.
your sh!ting in a hole in the ground, do you really need to loose money at the same time?
Clinton County [*]Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines.
because we don't want out buildings to lean like the leaning Tower of Pizza
Cleveland [*]It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license!
Hav you seen those buggers, they require armor piercing rounds[*]Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.
see afore mentioned reason women shouldn't where shinny shoes
Columbus [*]It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.
Coco Puff's are better anyways
Fairview Park [*]It's against the law to honk your horn "excessively". A grandmother was fined for honking her horn twice at her neighbor.
You know how it feels when you have someone constantly honking the horn[*]Items left on a tree lawn become city property. A young man was fined for removing an item from a tree lawn even though he had the owner's permission.
Tree lawns are very importnat things you know, they keep or state looking pretty
Ironton [*]Cross-dressing is against the law.
Do you need a reason this is a good idea?
Lima [*]Any map that does not have Lima clearly stated on the map cannot be sold.
because people need to know where the beans come from
Lowell [*]It is unlawful to run a horse over five miles per hour.
Gotta keep em for the track
Marion [*]You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
or else you might get hit by oncoming traffic
North Canton [*]It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.
Shenanigans could ensue
McDonald [*]Your goose may not paraded down Main Street.
but a flock is just fine
Oxford [*]It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
Because it should be in front of the real thing
Paulding [*]A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him.
gotta do it before the dog bite you
Toledo [*]Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal.
ever seen SNAKES ON A PLANE
Strongsville [*]Catch 22 is banned.
it's like double jeopardy I think, but more intersting
Youngstown [*]Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is not allowed.
but riding on the roof of a ricer is[*]You may not run out of gas.
Duh, we like to keep stupid people out of our state.
My responses of course will be in scarlet
Sorry, I got stuck in a meeting...
I think we'll do JUST fine against any place that has laws like THESE:
Dumb Ohio Laws[*]In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00. (fortunately, I have developed a device that launches horseshoes more than a mile, at orator's stands)
oraters are very serious people and proper respect must be paid to them while the declare whatever might need declaring[*]Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public. (this is just RETARDED)
have you ever seen women in shinny shoes (they can usually kick your *** and are in the armed forces
[*]It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. (onna counta ALL the whales in Ohio are actually housewives)But every other day of the week people form michigan can come down and fish all they want[*]It is illegal to get a fish drunk. (ESPECIALLY if it's a WHALE {whales AREN'T fish, BTW})
you wouldn't want the fish blowing chunks all over it's tank, then it might drown in its own vomit[*]The Ohio driver's education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car. (violators are required to STAY in Ohio for another year)
so they notice me going by at 500000MPH[*]Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited. (violatore will be SHOT, at 10-paces)
We are a civilized state and have evolved from duels[*]Breast feeding is not allowed in public. (which is why I only feed breasts in private, when in OH)
Do you want to see some moms Tatas going to work when watching the Bucks beat the Wolverines?[*]It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house. (this protects Buckeyes from all those wild & crazy Mormons)
You got me on this one, I think all Sororaties just became illegal in OH[*]It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance. (fortunately, in Ohio, NOTHING qualifies as being of "great" importance)
It's saying you need to protect your whip[*]Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes. (unless said tiger has already eaten them, I guess)
So they can get the tiger hunter on the A$$[*]No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July. (THIS is actually helpful to know. HEY EVERYBODY, DRINK-FEST @ CAB509's EVERY SUNDAY!!!)
You learn some new amazing laws everyday, HEY EVERYONE, PARTY IN OH ON THE 4TH OF JULY
Bay Village [*]It is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road.
they might get hit by a tractor
Bexley [*]Ordinance number 223, of 09/09/19 prohibits the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses.
your sh!ting in a hole in the ground, do you really need to loose money at the same time?
Clinton County [*]Any person who leans against a public building will be subject to fines.
because we don't want out buildings to lean like the leaning Tower of Pizza
Cleveland [*]It's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license!
Hav you seen those buggers, they require armor piercing rounds[*]Women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, lest men see reflections of their underwear.
see afore mentioned reason women shouldn't where shinny shoes
Columbus [*]It is illegal for stores to sell corn flakes on Sunday.
Coco Puff's are better anyways
Fairview Park [*]It's against the law to honk your horn "excessively". A grandmother was fined for honking her horn twice at her neighbor.
You know how it feels when you have someone constantly honking the horn[*]Items left on a tree lawn become city property. A young man was fined for removing an item from a tree lawn even though he had the owner's permission.
Tree lawns are very importnat things you know, they keep or state looking pretty
Ironton [*]Cross-dressing is against the law.
Do you need a reason this is a good idea?
Lima [*]Any map that does not have Lima clearly stated on the map cannot be sold.
because people need to know where the beans come from
Lowell [*]It is unlawful to run a horse over five miles per hour.
Gotta keep em for the track
Marion [*]You cannot eat a doughnut and walk backwards on a city street.
or else you might get hit by oncoming traffic
North Canton [*]It is against the law to roller skate without notifying the police.
Shenanigans could ensue
McDonald [*]Your goose may not paraded down Main Street.
but a flock is just fine
Oxford [*]It's illegal for a woman to strip off her clothing while standing in front of a man's picture.
Because it should be in front of the real thing
Paulding [*]A policeman may bite a dog to quiet him.
gotta do it before the dog bite you
Toledo [*]Throwing a snake at anyone is illegal.
ever seen SNAKES ON A PLANE
Strongsville [*]Catch 22 is banned.
it's like double jeopardy I think, but more intersting
Youngstown [*]Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is not allowed.
but riding on the roof of a ricer is[*]You may not run out of gas.
Duh, we like to keep stupid people out of our state.
#38
10-18-2007, 05:16 PM
RE: eFIGHTS!!! (bring 'em HERE!)
You Know you're from Michigan if...
If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding...
If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake...
If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport!)...
If snow tires come standard on all your cars...
If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry...
If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week...
If you can identify an Ohio accent...
If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town...
If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your bike...
If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder...
If you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people where you grew up...
If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is...
If someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've been to Ann Arbor..."
If "Down South" to you means Toledo...
If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was...
If octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball...
If traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon...
If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "trolls" or "lopers"...
If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Domino's, Little Caesar's and Hungry Howie's...
If a Big Mac is something you can drive across...
If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island...
If you got a passport to go to Ohio...
If you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones...
If your kid's baseball or softball games have been ever been snowed out..
If the trees in your backyard have spigots...
If you know that a place called "Kalamazoo" really exists...
If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop"...
If you know what a pastie is...
If you drive 80 mph on the highway and pass on the right...
If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus...
If you have a favorite hockey team...
If you think there are only TWO seasons, Hockey Season and Off-Season...
If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's...
If you know how to play Euchre...
If You classify your friends & relatives as "yoopers," "trolls," "Canadians," or "not from 'round here," (also classified as "Green Bay Fans," "Detroit Fans," "Toronto Fans," and "not from 'round here")...
If You know at least 2 yooper jokes (like the one about the 2 brothers from Ipsheming who run red lights)...
If Fudge and Bicycles remind you of your honeymoon...
If You can name all 5 of the Great Lakes, and point to their locations around your left and right hands...
If You don't cross picket lines...
If You used to think Deer Season was included as an official school holiday...
If You know that Pontiac and Cadillac are cities...
If You've been to Hell and to Paradise & back again...
If You had Tornado Drills in elementary school...
If You know all the words to Gordon Lightfoot's classic ballad, "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"...
If You can actually pronounce Ypsilanti...
If your idea of reaching Climax is driving just past Kalamazoo...
If the snow on your roof in August weighs more than you do...
If nothing weighs more than you do...
If you consider a rusty pickup a "turn-on"...
If you've ever gone "trolling for taillights"...
If you laugh hysterically at the "suckers" during movies of the week about hurricanes...
If you can travel through Detroit and not get mugged...
If your idea of creative landscaping is putting an extra pair of pink flamingos next to your blue spruce...
If you think there should be a "Fudgies go home" bumper sticker on every car north of Clare...
If a Friday night out is taking your girlfriend shining for deer...
You eat muskrat on Fridays during Lent because it's "seafood"...
If you go "Up North" for every possible holiday...
If you go to work in a snowsuit in the morning and return home wearing shorts...
If you eat potato burgers in Elmira...
If you sing along with the YES MICHIGAN commercials...
When you tell someone where you are from and they say: 'I thought that was part of Canada'...
If your idea of the seasons is Winter, Spring and the 4th of July...
If formal wear is a flannel shirt, blue jeans and a baseball cap...
If your children describe their summer vacation out of state as a "trip to Cedar Point..."
If you have to go to Florida to get a tan in August...
If you define "swimming season" as Labor Day weekend...
If your 4th of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost...
If you went to school with more than one NBA basketball player...
If you know where the city of Ocqueoc is AND can pronounce it...
If you have more fishing poles than teeth...
If you decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend...
If your two best friends are Eino and Toivo...
If you know that there are two ways to spell Mackinaw/Mackinac...and know when to use them...
If you know that Ontonogan isn't a geometry term...
If you look forward to your retirement "Up North" rather than Florida or Arizona...
If you know where the Cherry Capital of the World is...
If you get wet going too far left or right...
If three out of four of your friends work for "The Big Three"...
If you know what "The Big Three" means...
If you know WHY Paradise is colder than Hell...
If you know that Saline isn't just a term for contact solution...
If your town has a blizzard AND a tornado in the same week...
If you want Toledo BACK...
If you know the dollar value of a grocery bag filled with empty pop cans...
If November 15 is a paid holiday from work...
If "thumb" is a geographical rather than an anatomical term...
If you expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale...
If your fishing shanty is better than your house...
If you have a bumper sticker that says "If they call it tourist season, what's the bag limit?"...
If you drive six miles and wonder where the lake is...
If you were the one who turned out the lights when you moved south...
If your wife's Lady Remington is a 30.30
If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding...
If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake...
If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport!)...
If snow tires come standard on all your cars...
If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry...
If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week...
If you can identify an Ohio accent...
If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town...
If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your bike...
If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder...
If you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people where you grew up...
If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is...
If someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've been to Ann Arbor..."
If "Down South" to you means Toledo...
If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was...
If octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball...
If traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon...
If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "trolls" or "lopers"...
If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Domino's, Little Caesar's and Hungry Howie's...
If a Big Mac is something you can drive across...
If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island...
If you got a passport to go to Ohio...
If you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones...
If your kid's baseball or softball games have been ever been snowed out..
If the trees in your backyard have spigots...
If you know that a place called "Kalamazoo" really exists...
If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop"...
If you know what a pastie is...
If you drive 80 mph on the highway and pass on the right...
If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus...
If you have a favorite hockey team...
If you think there are only TWO seasons, Hockey Season and Off-Season...
If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's...
If you know how to play Euchre...
If You classify your friends & relatives as "yoopers," "trolls," "Canadians," or "not from 'round here," (also classified as "Green Bay Fans," "Detroit Fans," "Toronto Fans," and "not from 'round here")...
If You know at least 2 yooper jokes (like the one about the 2 brothers from Ipsheming who run red lights)...
If Fudge and Bicycles remind you of your honeymoon...
If You can name all 5 of the Great Lakes, and point to their locations around your left and right hands...
If You don't cross picket lines...
If You used to think Deer Season was included as an official school holiday...
If You know that Pontiac and Cadillac are cities...
If You've been to Hell and to Paradise & back again...
If You had Tornado Drills in elementary school...
If You know all the words to Gordon Lightfoot's classic ballad, "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"...
If You can actually pronounce Ypsilanti...
If your idea of reaching Climax is driving just past Kalamazoo...
If the snow on your roof in August weighs more than you do...
If nothing weighs more than you do...
If you consider a rusty pickup a "turn-on"...
If you've ever gone "trolling for taillights"...
If you laugh hysterically at the "suckers" during movies of the week about hurricanes...
If you can travel through Detroit and not get mugged...
If your idea of creative landscaping is putting an extra pair of pink flamingos next to your blue spruce...
If you think there should be a "Fudgies go home" bumper sticker on every car north of Clare...
If a Friday night out is taking your girlfriend shining for deer...
You eat muskrat on Fridays during Lent because it's "seafood"...
If you go "Up North" for every possible holiday...
If you go to work in a snowsuit in the morning and return home wearing shorts...
If you eat potato burgers in Elmira...
If you sing along with the YES MICHIGAN commercials...
When you tell someone where you are from and they say: 'I thought that was part of Canada'...
If your idea of the seasons is Winter, Spring and the 4th of July...
If formal wear is a flannel shirt, blue jeans and a baseball cap...
If your children describe their summer vacation out of state as a "trip to Cedar Point..."
If you have to go to Florida to get a tan in August...
If you define "swimming season" as Labor Day weekend...
If your 4th of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost...
If you went to school with more than one NBA basketball player...
If you know where the city of Ocqueoc is AND can pronounce it...
If you have more fishing poles than teeth...
If you decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend...
If your two best friends are Eino and Toivo...
If you know that there are two ways to spell Mackinaw/Mackinac...and know when to use them...
If you know that Ontonogan isn't a geometry term...
If you look forward to your retirement "Up North" rather than Florida or Arizona...
If you know where the Cherry Capital of the World is...
If you get wet going too far left or right...
If three out of four of your friends work for "The Big Three"...
If you know what "The Big Three" means...
If you know WHY Paradise is colder than Hell...
If you know that Saline isn't just a term for contact solution...
If your town has a blizzard AND a tornado in the same week...
If you want Toledo BACK...
If you know the dollar value of a grocery bag filled with empty pop cans...
If November 15 is a paid holiday from work...
If "thumb" is a geographical rather than an anatomical term...
If you expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale...
If your fishing shanty is better than your house...
If you have a bumper sticker that says "If they call it tourist season, what's the bag limit?"...
If you drive six miles and wonder where the lake is...
If you were the one who turned out the lights when you moved south...
If your wife's Lady Remington is a 30.30
#40
10-18-2007, 05:42 PM
Lvl-65 Sorceress: 9,571-HP/7,796-EP
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: The other side of midnight.
Posts: 7,462
