BSE in Alabama
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03-14-2006 | 03:14 PM
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BSE in Alabama
The USDA has confirmed that a cow from Alabama has tested positive for BSE this month. (true story)
The white house said...
The white house said...
“People of Alabamaland, this is your President speaking.
The nation shares your concernification at the terrible attack on your country by this terrorist organization.
These cows are cowardly cowards and they will stop at nothing in their efforts to enter and contaminify our food chains.
We have credible evidence of other plots too, including at least 2 cows that have been trying to buy cake salt for
the production of chemical weapons, 4 cows in Texas that have exhibited unusually high levels of methane production
in an effort to accelerate global warming and one cow in Florida which has been trying to take flying lessons.
I can assure you my fellow Alabammys that America will not allow the cows to establish a terrorist overflight zone over
the moon, even if we have to shoot down the cat and the fiddler too. The FBI has today put out an APB for the suspects known
as Dish and Spoon, who we believe are strongly linked to the cow moon base alpha plot.
The road my be rough and strewn with chips, but we will not stumble in our quest to bring these animals, cos that’s what they are, to justice.
People say, why don’t we just slaughter them? But I say that that is not the American way. Justice must
be seen to be done, and that is why I have instructified the CIA to build a new facility in Chesapeake bay
(why is it always a “bay”? – ed) for the handling of these detainees. They will be questioned and milked for information until
they reveal everything they know about the BSE organization and their part within it.
I have asked Prime Minister Tony Blair of the United Kingdom of Great Brittania to support me in these efforts.
and he has agreed to send some of his cows to Chesapeake too. We are building a coalition of the willing against this global threat
to Alabama and I am proud of our efforts in this area.
Somebody told me that this is just a load of bull, but I say NO! We have clear evidence that the cows are involved too.
America stands ready to do what it has to do. There may be trouble ahead, but while there’s mad cows and A-rabs and oil,
Lets line them all up and FIRE!
Any questions?”
The nation shares your concernification at the terrible attack on your country by this terrorist organization.
These cows are cowardly cowards and they will stop at nothing in their efforts to enter and contaminify our food chains.
We have credible evidence of other plots too, including at least 2 cows that have been trying to buy cake salt for
the production of chemical weapons, 4 cows in Texas that have exhibited unusually high levels of methane production
in an effort to accelerate global warming and one cow in Florida which has been trying to take flying lessons.
I can assure you my fellow Alabammys that America will not allow the cows to establish a terrorist overflight zone over
the moon, even if we have to shoot down the cat and the fiddler too. The FBI has today put out an APB for the suspects known
as Dish and Spoon, who we believe are strongly linked to the cow moon base alpha plot.
The road my be rough and strewn with chips, but we will not stumble in our quest to bring these animals, cos that’s what they are, to justice.
People say, why don’t we just slaughter them? But I say that that is not the American way. Justice must
be seen to be done, and that is why I have instructified the CIA to build a new facility in Chesapeake bay
(why is it always a “bay”? – ed) for the handling of these detainees. They will be questioned and milked for information until
they reveal everything they know about the BSE organization and their part within it.
I have asked Prime Minister Tony Blair of the United Kingdom of Great Brittania to support me in these efforts.
and he has agreed to send some of his cows to Chesapeake too. We are building a coalition of the willing against this global threat
to Alabama and I am proud of our efforts in this area.
Somebody told me that this is just a load of bull, but I say NO! We have clear evidence that the cows are involved too.
America stands ready to do what it has to do. There may be trouble ahead, but while there’s mad cows and A-rabs and oil,
Lets line them all up and FIRE!
Any questions?”
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