I was thinking of listing my favourite driving excuses, but I heard a case of website where a chap boasted about getting away with something, only for the Police to read his site and arrest him. So I'll have to keep certain ideas in the pending tray. Well I cannot leave you in suspense. Here is my favourite driving excuse, names have been withheld to protect the guilty.

A lady drove the wrong way up a one way street and then parked on double yellow lines. When she came out of the shop, there was a policeman, notebook in hand.' Do you realize what you have just done madam?' the policeman said, as reeled of enough offences to have her banned from driving.

'But you cannot book me officer', she said. The officer replied more intrigued than doubting his authority, 'and why not? 'Because', the lady said, 'my husband will beat me - AGAIN.'

I have to say quickly, that I know for a fact, that this lady's husband is the most mild mannered and loving man you could meet (and its not me). What I am searching for is the magic driving excuse but reversing the genders. I cannot in all sincerity say to a police officer, 'You cannot book because my wife will beat me', or even 'because my wife will nag me - again'. It just does not carry these same Veritas when the genders are reversed.

 

Got caught speeding on the highway? Pour some of your soda or whatever liquid you have at the time in the car, in your lap. Explain that you really had to go, but you're not in a hurry anymore...