I think this is probably it. I was so used to my RSX - very light and no torque. Not sure if it was drive by wire or not. I've only had the A4 for a week now and am liking it more every day. I got into my old car today (haven't sold it yet) and it felt like a tin can.

 

DBW leads to no pedal resistance. and what the OP was describing.

 

drive by wire is when there is a little sensor detecting how much gas ur giving the car and it electronically opens the throttle that amount, ur rsx had an accelerator cable, a cable attached to the gas pedal and direct to the throttle body that pulled open the throttle blade, so yeah its normal and especial in dbw cars when u shift at a high rpm, now i had an integra and now have a b5 and it did take a little gettin used to but trust me it is well worth it, this has quickly grown to be my favorite car of all time and ive had a few

 

DBW. Never heard of that.

I have the same problem. I immediately thought of the flywheel, but your right, probably to much trouble to replace, then to just deal with the hanging revs. I have a 3.0 as well, and after 2 years...I still have not gotten totally used to it.

 

I have a 02 1.8t and i have noticed that when i am booting it and change up the revs rise slightly,as if i had blipped the throttle as i was shifting up.It only does it above about 4000rpm and unless i was watching rev counter i would not have noticed. I presumed it was meant to be that way.!!